And there were in the same country, children keeping watch over their stockings by the fireplace. And, lo, Santa Claus came upon them; and they were sore afraid. And Santa said unto them; “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people who can afford it. For unto you will be given great feasts of turkey, dressing, and pies; and many presents; and this shall be a sign unto you, ye shall find the presents, wrapped in bright paper, lying beneath a tree adorned with tinsel, colored balls, and lights. And suddenly, there will be with you a multitude of relatives and friends, praising you and saying, ‘Thank you so much, it was just what I wanted.’
And it shall come to pass as the friends and relatives have gone away unto their homes, the parents shall say to one another, ‘Wow! What a mess to clean up! I’m too tired. Let’s go to bed and pick it up tomorrow. Thank goodness Christmas only comes once a year!’ And they go with haste to their beds.”
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