Two Kinds of Pain

A few months ago, I heard Bill Curry speak at a community-wide luncheon. Curry is a two-time Super Bowl Champion and NFL Pro Bowl player. He coached at several prestigious colleges including the University of Alabama and Georgia Tech. He is currently a commentator for ESPN. During his after dinner speech, Curry said something that I hope I never forget:

There are two kinds of pain - the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. One is temporary. The other lasts forever.

Which kind of pain do you choose? The pain of regret that haunts you forever or the temporary pain of discipline that eventually makes you better?

When I exercise I usually feel it the next day. It is painful but it is a good pain because I know that the result of the uneasiness will benefit me. The pain of discipline is healthy and vital to growth.

All of us have some regrets in our lives. I regret not working harder as a young athlete. I regret giving up the discipline of writing for many years. I regret some dumb decisions that I’ve made. I will die with these regrets – and, I suppose, I will die with even more.

But I don’t want to fill my life with regrets. I would rather fill my life with accomplishments. As much as possible, I want to fulfill the dreams that God has for my life. It will require discipline and it will require pain. But, as Bill Curry said, it is only temporary.

What about you?

Are you willing to endure the temporary pain of discipline in order to avoid the permanent pain of regret?

Out of Focus

There is a legend that surrounds the Taj Mahal in India. The Taj Mahal is one of the architectural wonders of the world. The emperor and builder of this masterpiece was Shah Jahan who ruled from 1628-1658. His wife, known as Taj Mahal, died in 1631. The Shah was devastated. He resolved to honor her by constructing a temple that would serve as her tomb. The coffin was placed on a large piece of land and construction of the temple began around the coffin. No expense would be spared to make her final resting place magnificent.

The weeks turned into months and the months into years. It took 22 years and twenty thousand people to complete the project. The Shah’s grief was overshadowed by his passion for the project. He no longer mourned her absence. The construction project consumed him. One day, while walking from one side of the construction site to the other, his leg bumped against an old, dusty, wooden box. While the prince, miffed at the ugly, dirty box, brushed the dust off his leg, he ordered a worker to throw the box out.

The Shah didn’t know he had ordered the disposal of his wife’s coffin that had been forgotten and hidden beneath layers of dust and time. The one the temple was intended to honor was forgotten, but the temple was erected anyway.

How many times do we lose focus on the things that ought to be dear to us because of other pressing needs? Be careful that the urgent things don’t always overshadow the important things in life.

The Simple Life

This is probably my favorite story of all time. I've posted it on this blog a couple of times at least. It is the first entry in my first book, Timely Words. There is just so much wisdom in this story. In case you've never read it, here it is again:

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a little boat with one fisherman docked with a slim catch.

The American asked him, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

The Mexican replied, “This is all I need to support my family for a few days.”

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?” the American inquired.

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I dine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed at the Mexican. “Listen. I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this little village and move to Mexico City or even New York City where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

“But how long will this take?” the fisherman asked.

“About 15-20 years,” responded the expert.

“But what then?”

The American laughed. “That is the best part…when the time is right you would sell your company stock and become rich.”

“Rich,” the Mexican dreamed aloud. “Then what?”

The businessman said, "Then you could retire, move to a small coastal village and sleep late, fish a little, play with your grandkids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings and play the guitar with your friends."

What is Discipleship?

A friend and church member approached me a couple of months ago and asked me to disciple him. I agreed so we planned to get together this month for lunch to come up with a course of action. We met yesterday and discussed what it takes to become a more mature follower of Jesus.

But lately, I've been asking myself, "What is discipleship?" What does it really mean and how does one become a disciple?

(Note: I couldn't resist the cheesy picture generated by Google Images when I typed in the word "disciple.")

Years ago, if you asked me that question, my answer would have involved books, courses, and specific Bible studies. My approach to any subject is usually an academic, curriculum-based approach since I like to read. But I realize that reading is drudgery for some people so to point them to a book in order to gain spiritual maturity is like leading them into an abyss of misery. Guys, especially, tend not to read as much as women so it's even more difficult to disciple men in my experience.

There is another school of thought on discipleship out there. It's the philosophy that "more is caught than taught." No doubt, this philosophy works too. This was one of the methods Jesus used with his disciples. This method says that if you do life with people and let them see how you walk with Jesus everyday, they will become more mature from watching your life. As people glean things from your life, some of it will transfer over to them. While there is truth to that statement, deep down, I still believe that you have to read something in order to grow. But that's just me.

The problem with this method is that I don't know many guys that can just hang out with me a lot. Will having lunch with me every other week be enough? Probably not. Most disciples can't spend a lot of time with their disciplers and truly do life together. So the rub with the "more is caught than taught" philosophy is a matter of time.

I guess I should stop here and ask, "What does it mean to be a disciple?" The word "disciple" means "pupil" or "learner." So when someone says, "I want to be discipled" they are saying, "I want to learn."

So maybe the answer to the question of how to become a disciple is answered with another question. "How do you learn best?" Now you're getting somewhere. If you're a reader, read. If you learn by doing hands-on things, get busy. If you prefer watching and listening, find someone that will feed you.

In my experience over the years, the Church has limited discipleship only to those willing to read and attend extra classes. That is a mistake. We must do a better job of discipling people. After all, isn't that the Great Commission? "Make disciples of all nations," Jesus said. He didn't say make church members of all nations. He didn't say make churches in all nations. He said make disciples.

Chew on this today: The printing press was invented in the 15th century. Until then, copies of the Bible were rare and usually kept by the clergy. Christians didn't have their own personal study Bibles at their bedside. Most of them probably didn't know how to read anyway! So how did Christians make disciples during the first 1500 years of the Church's existence?

We ended our lunch yesterday without a specific plan. I'm still "chewing" on it (how to disciple my friend, not lunch.) I suggested to him that the Christian life is a journey. We will never completely arrive at spiritual maturity. But the key, I think, is to make progress everyday. Have some habit or discipline in your life that will take you one step closer to spiritual maturity. Be a life-long learner. The tools used are not the most important thing. The most important thing is this: Are you being a pupil of Christ? That, ultimately, is what a disciple is.

What to do with Naysayers

Hall monitors tell you how to do things. Naysayers tell you that you cannot do things.

Naysayers will say that what you are dreaming has never been done before. They will tell you that your plans have been tried before with no success. They will cite the accounts of others who fell flat on their faces when they tried a scheme like yours.

Naysayers are experts at shooting down any and all ideas that do not conform to convention. Like hall monitors, naysayers do not like different.

Naysayers will tell you that you need to get real and that you need to get your head out of the clouds. They will find everything that is wrong with your life and your dreams. They will have advice for what you should do with your life as opposed to what you want to do.

Naysayers are often unhappy. They are dream quenchers. They are like rain on a parade. They like to stand by and critique other lives. They are afraid to seek their own dreams and goals so they sit in the corner and complain about what everyone else is doing wrong.

Disregard the Naysayers too.

How do you handle the Hall Monitors and Naysayers in your life? They will be family, friends, and coworkers. They will be people that you love and care about. They will be people whose advice you’ve taken before. What should you do when these people criticize your ideas or shoot down your dreams?

First, be nice. Receive their advice. Thank them for thinking of you. Tell them that you will consider what they say (and truly do so – it may help you formulate your plans). Do not argue but make your case if it’s necessary. Remember that they don’t think like you. They are stuck in a box called conformity. You are trying to break out of that box.

If Hall Monitors and Naysayers cause you to doubt, go back to those people who encourage and inspire you to pursue your dreams. Read their books, blogs, or websites. Take them to lunch. Revisit your dreams and goals and consider your progress. Determine to do something that day to take one more bite out of that elephant!

What to do with Hall Monitors

When I was in elementary school we began each morning walking down the halls to our classrooms listening to our peers who had been appointed hall monitors. I think I was a hall monitor in the fourth grade. Hall monitors were fellow students strategically placed in the halls of the school to maintain order in the corridors. Hall monitors repeatedly gave the same command.

“Single file line. One behind the other.”

It was a chant that began the daily ritual of school. You would hear this chant repeated over and over in various voices and tones as you proceeded to your classroom. To be a hall monitor was an honor. You had to be a good student in order to be appointed this prestigious position. Hall monitors were important because they kept everyone in line and they made sure that every student walked down the right side of the halls. They made sure that everyone conformed to the rules.

Some adults are still hall monitors.

Hall monitors love conventional methods. They like the tried, tested, and true ways of doing things. They believe that everyone should conform to the same path using the same methods. Their methods are sound. There is nothing really wrong with their strategies for living. Millions of people have conformed to the lifestyle of the hall monitors and have succeeded.

The problem with hall monitors is that they expect everyone to do the same thing.

“Single file line. One behind the other.”

Hall monitors attack you if you don’t stay in line with the rest of the crowd. They don’t like it when you walk backwards down the hall or shoulder-to-shoulder with a friend or on the left side or, God forbid, you run down the hall!

Hall monitors like to control those around them. They like to tell you what to think. They don’t like people who break the rules or change the system. They want to tell you what to do. They are threatened when someone comes along with a different way of doing things. They want to tell you what you can and cannot do. Even if your way is better, it is seen with skepticism because it is different.

Hall monitors don’t like different.

Why do I tell you this? Because sometimes if you are going to make a difference you have to be different. You will run into your share of hall monitors. They will question you. They will correct you. They may harass you. They will tell you that you are going about this the wrong way. They will think you are crazy or you’ve “lost it.”

Disregard the hall monitors.

Technology is wreaking havoc on the publishing industry today. Authors are discovering that they don’t always need traditional publishers. Digital technology allows authors to upload a book and have it printed the same day as opposed to the archaic method that traditional publishers offer using 20^th century printing presses which may take up to a year or more.

Popular author Seth Godin recently announced that he will no longer use a traditional publisher. William P. Young, the author of The New York Times bestseller, The Shack, was rejected over and over by traditional publishers. The general publishing market thought his novel was too Christian. Christian publishers thought his theology was sketchy. No one wanted to touch it. Young and two friends decided to publish it themselves and the book became a huge success.

The hall monitors say that Godin and Young are breaking the rules. Godin and Young make the hall monitors in the publishing industry really nervous.

Be aware that you will have hall monitors in your life telling you how you should conform on this journey. You don’t have to do things like they’ve always been done. You don't have to fit into the hall monitor's box.

Those who make a difference in this world typically ignore the hall monitors.

A New Perspective

A businessman had an angel come to visit him who promised to grant him one request. The man requested a copy of The New York Times one year in the future. As he was studying the future prices on the New York Stock Exchange, he boasted of his plans and the increased riches that would be his as a result of this "insider" look into the future.

He then glanced across the newspaper page only to see his own name in the obituary column. Suddenly, money wasn't so important.

Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom. - Psalm 90:12

His Grace is Enough

"Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me..." Ephesians 3:8

The apostle Paul was the writer of the letter to the Ephesian church. He recognized that he was nothing without Christ. In this passage, he mentions how unworthy and sinful he is. Paul realized he was dirty in his sins and that he was a small speck in this vast universe. He understood that he could be easily overlooked by God and rightly so.

We have granted Paul sainthood. Many say he was the greatest among Christians. Don't tell him that.

Paul knew just how lowly and sinful he was. It is easy to pump ourselves up and think we've got it all together. In a wealthy country, in a healthy church, with well-adjusted kids, I can easily sit back and bask in my own glory and think I've deserved my lot in life.

I deserve nothing.

It is God's grace and only God's grace that allows me to breathe my next breath. It is God's grace that gives me hope. It is God's grace that allows me to see another minute. I do not deserve one bit of God's grace but he has chosen to give it all to me.

Not just a portion, not a taste - but all.

For that, I am humbled like Paul. God, don't let me forget your grace is given to me fully and completely. Don't let me forget that your grace is enough. It is all I need.